Thanks to Guy for clearing up the mystery below. Not that it still entirely makes sense, mind you, but at least I can cross it off my list of Things I Do Not Understand.

Which just leaves us with: sports matches on the radio (what is the point?); how and why Emmerdale still exists; and those really wide rolls of tin foil (what, apart from your annual turkey and possibly a spot of Joe Wicks-style interior decorating, are they actually any good for?). Oh, and Chris De Burgh.

Meanwhile apologies for absence, updates on the way, honest.