Right, I'm off. Manically trying to finish work stuff before I go, so last post from me for some considerable time - big thanks for the reading suggestions, and if anyone needs me for the next two weeks, I'll be somewhere here...




Back in April!

Holiday reading

Readers, I need your help. As I *may* have mentioned, I'm shortly off to South Africa, which I'm looking forward to immensely. But, it's a long, long flight, with a two-hour stopover in Istanbul, so I'm gonna need stuff to read.

I'm not a big reader. As a rule, holidays are the only occasions on which I go anywhere near a book. And even then, if it's Sitges' beach, the book is only there, like everyone else's, as a device from behind which to survey the, er, scenery.

So, I need some suggestions. I'll be polishing off the last two of Armistead Maupin's 'Tales of The City' books (finally) which will doubtless be great, but suspect I will have finished them both by the time the peanuts come round.

I'm not really big on serious, intellectual or, heaven forbid, educational. It's a holiday. Things set in Scotland where people swear at each other in incomprehensible accents using made-up words aren't top of my list either.

But frivolous is good, extra points for funny, schlock-horror is always welcome (bear in mind my favourite book of all time is Stephen King's 'Needful Things' and I don't care who knows it), and trash - so long as it's good trash - always goes down well.

So, any thoughts? Any suggestions most gratefully received.

So, what happens when you get twenty of the Vauxhall Tavern family together, go to a very nice Indian restaurant in Brick Lane, mix in generous quantities of wine and beer, and simmer for several hours?

Well, you get a surprisingly civilised (apart from the deeply childish but most amusing hot-towel fight) and thoroughly enjoyable night. Nice to see everyone like, properly - for some of us it's the first time we've even met with all our clothes on. Must do this sort of thing more often.

Meanwhile it turns yet another of us is keeping an online journal which I just happened to stumble across yesterday, so hello Mike!

Those of you who are prone to a little chemical indulgence at the weekend, rather like our very own Kylie ('but she's so wholesome and innocent!' choruses, er, no-one) are probably familiar with the occasional after-effects: what my friend Nigel refers to as 'Tearful Tuesdays' and 'Weepy Wednesdays'.

I can only assume it was the early arrival of these though, that last night almost had me sobbing over a travel brochure:
'Oh, it's got a pool and everything! And it's only a minute from the beach! Waaaahh!!' I worry myself sometimes.

Oh well, at least it wasn't 'Carol Vorderman's Better Homes' this time.

Anyway, just momentarily crawling out from my Tuesday stupor to say very nice to meet Dave on Sunday, a happy birthday to the Comatose kid, and go read Chig, whose Sydney Mardi Gras adventures will bring a little sunshine and sauciness into your life. And who doesn't need that on a Tuesday?

I'll tell ya, you get all sorts coming in via search engines these days. Being a gay blog UK, I guess it's not that surprising to get requests for Travis Fimmel naked - though you won't be finding any such thing here, I'm strictly a Marky Mark man, ok? Jonathan has the compelling evidence here.

You might be surprised at the demand for Graham Norton naked but perhaps not for Shakira naked. Although apparently both of them can do incredible things with a kitchen whisk. The mind boggles.

Despite appearances, this isn't just a meaningless ramble. But if you want to know what it's all about, just ask someone with a nice bottom.

Which is valuable advice in many a situation.

So, to many a girl's disappointment and a fair few boys' delight, but absolutely no-one's surprise, Will Young has told the world he's gay.

And at the same time, across the water Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears have split up. More mischevious minds than mine would love to suggest a connection between these two stories. Will and Justin for Christmas number one, anyone?

[This post was brought to you by The Society For Shameless Attempts To Increase Hits From Google, in association with the Foundation For The Starting Of Unfounded And Entirely Made-Up Rumours.]

We apologise for the temporary hiatus in transmissions over the last few days. I've been busy y'know, loads of work to do, and I've hardly been in, and Blogger went down for a day or so, and, and, and.... oh, okay I am in fact just plain lazy. But only 34% lazy apparently - further proof, as if it were needed, of the fallibility of online tests.

Anyway, through the fug of a post-RVT Monday afternoon (is there any other kind? And can there ever, possibly, be enough opportunities to use the word 'fug'? I think not.) I shall attempt to summarise the days since my last post:

Thursday
Erm. It's only four days ago, and already I'm struggling to remember it. Although, in fairness, one of those days so unmemorable it exists only to fill up space in the calendar. Quite nice weather. Went to work. Went swimming. Went to bed. Relieved to discover picture of me taken at last week's RVT, dancing manically on stage, arms aloft, and doubtless grinning like a crazed loon during a particularly anthemic Geri Halliwell moment, didn't appear in print. Phil's young Brazilian 'friend' was less fortunate...

Friday
In a rare moment of uncharacteristically civilised behaviour, a very nice dinner party at Kelvin's. Good food, good company, champagne, much wine, you can't really go wrong.

* A side note, mentioned for no reason whatsoever, honest: never, ever accidentally throw a bottle of what are euphemistically known as 'room odourisers' all over the room. They will indeed odourise it. And after about half an hour it will be really, really horrible.

Saturday
Ah, six months to the day since Kelvin and I, after a few weeks of tiptoeing round the edges, took the plunge into the crazy world of coupledom. And a fantastic six months it has been. So how did we celebrate this semi-anniversary? A candlelit dinner for two? A romantic weekend away? Er, no. We donned the leather gear and went to Fist. Well, you've got to keep it interesting...

Sunday
Three guesses. Yes, I was among the bloggerama at the increasingly hi-tech Royal Vauxhall Tavern (new fans! groovy disco lighting! A sink that doesn't turn all the way round when you turn the tap!). Almost all the usual crowd were present, if far from correct - Dan returned from Gran Canaria, Byron and Nick returned from Oz, our not-very-secret-admirers invited us to dinner (again), and by half-past-ten I had reached a state where walking, or indeed standing, was proving extremely difficult (how is it that you can still dance even when you have lost almost all other co-ordination?), so all in all a typical, and therefore fabulous, Sunday night.

As for today, I am now just counting the days, nay hours, to Cape Town, where it's currently 29 degrees and sunny. Seven days to go...

Do you need to get out more?

Marketing magazine this week can help you decide, with a survey which asked:
'How often, if at all, do you go out nightclubbing?'

EVERY WEEKEND OR MORE:
Age 16-24:......47%
Age 25-34:......9%
Age 35-44:......4%
Age 45-54:......3%

ABOUT ONCE A MONTH
Age 16-24:......34%
Age 25-34:......37%
Age 35-44:......12%
Age 45-54:......5%

ABOUT ONCE EVERY SIX MONTHS
Age 16-24:......7%
Age 25-34:......6%
Age 35-44:......14%
Age 45-54:......12%

ABOUT ONCE A YEAR
Age 16-24:......3%
Age 25-34:......1%
Age 35-44:......5%
Age 45-54:......6%

NEVER
Age 16-24:......11%
Age 25-34:......31%
Age 35-44:......61%
Age 45-54:......79%

Swiftly glossing over my somewhat loose definition of 'every day', to today's topics:

Are you a good samaritan? Or do you cross the road?
What if the person in trouble is on the other side of the road, eh? Eh? (I never said smartarse and entirely facetious answers weren't allowed. Read the rules.)

Have you ever been late to work just because you couldn't resist to post to your blog/online journal?
The chances of my being out of bed early enough to even contemplate a pre-work posting aren't, let's say, huge.

Do you feel that it's better to not vote when you're not fully informed on the issues you're voting on?
If it's some trifling matter such as a general election then no, just go for it, but if it's a matter of vital national importance such as, say, a TV talent contest, then it's imperative to be fully aware of all the pros and cons - you're playing with people's right to make trashy pop records here. Which is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.

Methinks we're veering towards the 'load of old toss' end of the spectrum. Hey, it's an experiment.

So I'm in the kitchen, while Kirsty's in the other room, looking up the online wedding list of a couple whose ceremony she'll be attending shortly. And suddenly the cry can be heard throughout the flat:

"Ewwwww!! Waterproof mattress cover!!!!"

Whether said item is a requirement of their, ahem, playtime preferences or just a medical necessity isn't made clear - but either way, would you really want this on your wedding list for all your guests to ponder? Whatever happened to 'Chintzy And Slightly Dated Crockery Set With Unpleasant Floral Pattern For Four', 'Hideous Rug', or 'Decorative But Entirely Useless Unidentifiable Crystal Object'?

The Topics Blog is a great source of ideas for stuff you can write about when you can't think of anything to write about. Not that that ever happens round here of course (ahem).

So, as an experiment, next week I hereby commit to tackle at least three of the day's topics, every day. It might be enlightening, it might be interesting, it might be a load of old toss - we'll just have to see what comes up. For now though, I'll make a start with the latest three questions:

What things did you expect to have done by this point in your life that you haven't yet done?
Ooh, heavy one to start with. There are quite a few things I didn't expect to have done, most of which I can't repeat here. But I think the main things have been covered off - I've moved to a big city and pretty much made a decent life for myself, I've made a lot of good friends, fallen in love, had my heart broken, travelled the world a bit, all the important stuff.

I guess I expected to be a bit further on career-wise, perhaps living in my own place, and having a standard of living a bit further removed from my student days. But that was before I discovered Going Out. And I expected to have had a number one record by now (well, at least when I was about 16, anyway). Right now I'd settle for a nice cold beer.

When you meet someone of the opposite sex/sex you are attracted to, do you immediately evaluate them on whether or not you could imagine sleeping with them?
I guess so, although most of the time it's probably only subconsciously. One thing I recently realised (to my shame) though: if I'm introduced to someone in a social situation, I am hopeless at remembering their names unless I do find them attractive in some way. So be warned: if you're ever introduced to me in a club, and I remember your name next time we meet, this means I subconsicously want to sleep with you.

Is it just me?

Could you ever date someone who was ten or more years older (or younger) than you?
Older, yes, and indeed I have. Younger though, probably not - I've never gone for younger guys, and ten years younger than me they'd probably still be at school. I do however, reserve the right to change my mind on this and become a dirty old man, at whatever age this becomes appropriate.

So there you have it. We'll see what next week turns up...

This week in blogworld:

- Marcus is enjoying a drink or two, Ian's trying very hard not to.

- Jonathan's getting serious about shorts (but not in the usual way...), while Walt's getting funny about leotards.

- Survivor Shel's getting hot on a desert island with John, while Dave's playing footie with Rob.

- David's discovering surprising things about an old friend, rather like Rufus.

- Mark's thinking about going west, while Cory's headed south for the winter.

- Dave's seeing Jonno lookalikes, while Jerwin's seeing red about Nelly Furtado (and rightly so).

- Mike's contemplating sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, while it sounds like Dave's busy recovering from them.

- Hermione's defining some words, while Jonno's coming up with a useful new one.

- Molly might have found a flat, and Dan might have found love.

- Things are good for Dewayne, while Fredo's looking for things that suck.

- There are naked people everywhere at Combustication, while John's dreaming he's one of them.

- And last but not least, Rob's been photographed in Boyz (careful how you say that one...)

As for me, yes, I do have too much time on my hands...